Picking up chicks...

[hyperwater]

Right, so I'm single now. I've been so for about 2 or 3 months now. Also, I have a few friends who want to pick up girls too. By pick up, I mean meet girls who would are also looking out for guys to go on dates with.

The question is, how to do so? Where are the best places to find potential girlfriends?
I'm 20 and so are my friends in question. I'm assuming bars are better than clubs, as you can actually talk to people.

What is your advice?

[Tormod]

You can meet girls anywhere, usually the grocery store is pretty good. Its easy to come up with small talk without trying and you get to check out each others food preferences.

Mind you, I did meet my wife at a club

[areostatico]

Do things you like to do. If that's too limited, find other things you might be interested in.

Go out and explore. Talk to people.

If all else fails, eHarmony will have your back, Jack.

[ManTyme]

Bars and clubs are NOT where you meet girlfriend material IMO.

thats where you find one night stands, "party animals", alcoholics etc.

Best places to find women would be places suck as the mall, walmart, grocery store, beaches, parks etc.

[Von]

Clubs and bars are terrible to meet girls. You can barely talk it's so loud. I'd rather go to a lounge or similar. I'd also not trust any girl that's will to do a 1 night stand (hygiene wise)

[The Greendale Human Being]

If you can meet someone doing something you like, you stand to have something of substance in common right out of the gate.

Another key piece of advice: shake any fear you have of talking to women. Don't be afraid to strike up a conversation, and don't be afraid to embarrass yourself a little. I was able to get far more dates this way. Find a way to not care how you'll be received and go for it.

[ManTyme]

Originally Posted by The Greendale Human Being

If you can meet someone doing something you like, you stand to have something of substance in common right out of the gate.

Another key piece of advice: shake any fear you have of talking to women. Don't be afraid to strike up a conversation, and don't be afraid to embarrass yourself a little. I was able to get far more dates this way. Find a way to not care how you'll be received and go for it.

Agreed. Dont be nervous to talk to woman. They are human just as you and I. You will either be acceoted or rejected its all just a part of life.

[DTG99]

In my personal experience I've found weddings and funerals to be the optimal places to chase tail. Seriously, it's a gold mine.

On a serious note, you said you were 20, do you attend a college? On campus is by and far the best place to meet girls. It's literally a free for all.

[Senori]

I'm going to be watching this thread: any exploitive/PUA stuff will be carded.

[xitaun]

i think they most important thing is to be always ready to strike. what i mean is, if you find a nice girl, say, in the hospital, and you have interest, you should tey so spend some talk instead of waiting for 8 pm to go to a bar b/c that is more appropriate.

for places, i think the best is to invite someone that you actually know to go somewhere and let them acknowledge it is a date, b/c in my experience wherever i go to find women they don't want anything a little more serious w/ people they did not know before. i live in brazil, however, and maybe it works differently in other places.

[zombie n elf]

I met my girlfriend/baby mama at a party. So not everyone at a party/club/bar is bad but isnt the best place to go looking. Do you have any friends who are girls? If so ask them if the have any single friends that is usually a good way to find someone who isnt totaly random who your friend thinks is good enough for you. If not i would say at your workplace if you have a job or even voluteer somewhere?

[Valarin]

Originally Posted by ManTyme

Bars and clubs are NOT where you meet girlfriend material IMO.

thats where you find one night stands, "party animals", alcoholics etc.

Best places to find women would be places suck as the mall, walmart, grocery store, beaches, parks etc.

That's a tired generalization from the geek community, usually resulting from an inability to meet women in those environments. If you don't like going to bars/clubs to meet women, that's fine, but claiming that they are not social establishments where a lot of singles go to meet is silly.

The problem with meeting girls at stores or grocery markets or the mall or wherever is that they are not there to meet someone. They are there to do something else. So they are not as receptive to people coming up to them and introducing themselves. Most people go to a social setting to "put themselves out there" so to speak. If I walk up to a girl at a grocery market and say "Hi, my name is Valarin, how are you?" I'm probably going to get maced. If I do that in a club, the worst I get is a sheepish "hi..." and then she turns and goes back to her friends, I strike out.

Anyway, to the OP, meeting girls is not hard. It's incredibly easy. You just need to be OK with rejection.

Go to a nice bar/club, find a girl you find attractive/interesting. Approach them and say "Hi, my name is ...., what's your name?" Make sure sound self confident, put a little bass in your voice, don't act meek and whisper or anything.

Here's the trick: If you get ANY response other than an enthusiastic "Hi! My name is ..." then move on. You're just wasting your time at that point.

Make your way through the place until you find a girl you like who responds in a likewise manner, and strike up a conversation. Just ask questions, and listen. Keep asking more questions, keep listening. Don't talk about yourself, keep her the center of attention.

After about 20 min or so, if you are looking for a 1 night stand, tell her the place is a little loud and does she want to have a nightcap back at your place. Don't be ashamed, it's 2013, it's perfectly acceptable for people of both sexes to engage in/enjoy casual sex. If you are looking for potential gf material, ask her if it's OK to give her a call sometime and get her number. Call her up, chat a bit, ask her out, and away you go.

Like I said, there's nothing hard about it at all. You just need to be self confident enough to handle rejection. You will get rejected. A lot. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It just means you're not her type. If you take it personally, you will never get anywhere with women.

[zemanjaski]

Pretty much what Valarin said. If you see someone you find attractive, talk to them. The worst thing that can happen is...nothing? You don't lose anything by trying.

[Jay13x]

Originally Posted by Valarin

You will get rejected. A lot. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It just means you're not her type. If you take it personally, you will never get anywhere with women.

This is absolutely true, and the biggest barrier to nerd success out there.

Honestly, I've got a lot of friends who are uber-nerdy and have no problem finding dates. The trick is self-confidence and to not take rejection personally.

Not everyone is going to like you on first sight. Many won't like you much after a first date. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to 'picking up women'.

Honestly, if you are looking for women who share your interests, join on-campus organizations if you are in college, it's the best place to meet nerdy girls. Otherwise, look around nearby for social situations where you can meet someone who shares at least some of your interests.

Also, the absolute worst mentality you can have going in to this is that you are 'looking for a girlfriend'. It can cause you to overreact and become extra nervous. It can also come across as desperate, which is generally a turn-off. Instead, think of it as trying to make new friends. If it becomes something more, it becomes something more. If it doesn't, you haven't really lost anything.

But going back to the first point, the most important thing to remember is that you need to be able to not personalize rejection. There isn't a single set of criteria you need to have and things you need to do to make someone like you. For a large number of the opposite sex, you simply aren't their type. It isn't personal, it doesn't make you a loser and there is nothing you can do to change that. So don't worry about them.

[hyperwater]

Just saying guys, you're all awesome for helping me like this. Thanks heaps.

Personally I'm not looking for casual sex. I'm a typical lover boy, so I just want a nice normal relationship.

I am also totally okay with rejection. I mean, yes, its a downer. But it happens and I get on with it as quickly as possible. I mean if it happens whilst I'm on the town, I think nothing of it. My mates on the other hand... I'll be there to comfort them :P

My Uni would be a good place to pick up girls... but for some reason, I only ever to make friends and not anything long term. I dunno, maybe they find me childish?

And heck, at the end of it, if I've made another friend, thats totally okay. It doesn't even have to end up as a relationship if it doesn't drift that way.

So basically the game plan is just to go over and talk to them. Anyone have a good way of introducing yourself/ breaking the ice without sounding like a salesman?