This Set Is Going Through An Overhaul And Has Been Pulled From Beta Testing Back To Alpha Testing. Stay Tuned For Updates. Beta playtesters will soon be needed, if anyone is interested.
Mayla, once a plane of artificial balance and unity, is now stuck in a civil war. One nation fighting against the nation for the fate of the plane. Only, they dont know it. The inhabitants all believe there is a territory war happening, all the while it is two planeswalkers using civillans to fight for the very future of the plane. One planeswalker, an elven white mage Dizdemona Arowyn, is fighting to destroy the plane's artificial unity and the plane itself, all for revenge and a twisted sense of justice. The other, a native elven black mage Kyrina Duskcaller, is fighting to keep the lands that are so rightfully theirs.
Two nations, two planeswalkers. Will the plane fall under a Veil, or rise to reclamation?
Allegiance X to [SUBTYPE] - As long as you control X [SUBTYPE], then your creature gains said effect.
Dominance X over [SUBTYPE] - As this card comes into play, as an additional cost you may tap X [SUBTYPE]. If you do, your creature gains said effect.
We are still looking for art, so if anybody wants to submit art for cards we will gladly accept it. We must insist we have a name to credit though.
Design credit to Matthew Loach and Devon Manners. Thanks to all who helped
Set 1 of 3 in the Mayla block.
MWS file available for download.
280/280 plus tokens, in alphabetical order.
Absorption Stone - Of all colours blue is the one which should have the least creature kill. Losing life doesn't make sense either. Life loss like this should be in the cost, not the effect, but that is entirely beside the point. Even if this card were black, the colour best suited to paying life and killing creatures, it would be far too strong. And it's a common too! Put simply, what were you thinking?!
i stopped reading here because such an erroneous card is a bad omen of what else is in there. This one card ignores the colour pie, power levels, the impact of rarity, and templating conventions.
Sorry but I can't review this set.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Gaymer
Custom Card / Set Reviewer
When reviewing custom cards / sets, I look for (a) flavour, (b) function, and (c) cohesiveness, generally through a risk focus.
Basing a set around a single card is highly unfair. If I were to do that, I would stop reading M11 at Hornet Sting. The set explores new territory, and that one card was just a single piece of it. If you dont approve of that card, by all means say so. Criticism is what we are after. But just because it alphabetically comes first does not give you the right to dismiss all of our work.
I couldn't read more than half the set without getting overwhelmed. There are a ton of problems with this set, and the problems viridian saw in Absorption stone pretty much cary through the set.
- What is this set supposed to be about? Is it a snow set? Is it a multicolor set? Is it a colored-artifacts set? The design is all over the place so the set feels scattered. Very few of the cards actually feel like they work together or belong in the same set.
- The entire set is plagued by color-pie breaking abilities. Blue destroys permanents? Bant colors exile graveyards? Red prevents damage? The best example of this is the two green cards that give +5/-3 and +0/+5, or something like that. adding power for toughness is usually a black or red ability, and adding only toughness is usually white. You could make an argument for them in green, but you can make an argument for anything in any color, that doesn't mean it should be there.
- A lot of the cards seem over designed, and other seem under designed. You have a lot of cards with a ton of text and two or three abilities on them, followed by a bunch french vanilla creatures. It seems like these were just made one at a time, and thrown together with some filler cards.
- Allegiance and Dominance do not work the way they appear. What you're trying to do is create a keyword, but they're really ability words. Keywords can have numbers and types attached to them, but they can't specify an ability the way you want Alliance and Dominance to. In order to have Allegiance and Dominance activate the abilities the way you want them to, they have to be ability words and their triggers mush be written into the text. For example:
Allegiance - As long as you control 2 or more Angels, ~ has flying.
Dominance - When ~ enters the battlefield, you may tap 2 Demon creature you control. If you do, ~ deals 2 damage to target creature or player.
Furthermore, many of the Dominance abilities have static abilities as a result, which would be incredibly confusing. There's no physical representation to remember if you tapped the creatures when you played the Dominance creature, leading to lots of memory problems.
- The flavor of the set isn't clear to me. This is probably just a lack of art/flavor text, but it also lies in the unfocused design of the set. Take Mirrodin Besieged for example. MBS has two very unique factions, and even without water marks you can tell them apart. One has infect while the other has metalcraft. This set doesn't have any clear mechanical cohesion, so it's difficult to tell who's fighting who.
There are some good ideas, but perhaps too many ideas. My advice would be to choose a specific design goal for your set, and try to redesign from there.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"In the beginning, MTG Salvation switched to a new forum format.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
It was at that moment that I realized: I'm kinda just making these things up. We can just write the rules the way we want them to work. People will have fun, and people will get it.
I agree wholeheartedly with the other two posters. After reading the first card, I wasn't expecting it to go well. Then I saw a variety of different abilities on a variety of cards that just shouldn't have them. I saw wither scattered around, colored artifacts for no apparent reason, and why are there snow costs? Part of creating a set is first deciding what you want your set to be about. Making it an amalgamation of everything you like in Magic is a bad way to go. Having an overarcing theme, then tieing the card mechanics into the flavor of that theme, is what makes strong sets.
It doesn't actually mean anything. It's like an ability word. "Allegiance N to [type]" could be taken off of the cards entirely, and instead read "As long as you control N [type], [effect]".
The idea behind the set, is what if Bant were the BAD guys. If you looked at a map of the plane, which sadly is not provided, you will see that the northern areas are essentially completely snow packed. There is an entire creature type, Blizzard, that is a concentration of snow mana so intense that it is alive (similar in essence to Marro).
Bant are fighting, albeit unaware, for the destruction of their plane. Even if they think its for justice, an underhanded leader brings underhanded tactics. Grixis are fighting to keep their land, which is rightfully theirs.
The cycle of mana pillars are actually physically changing the mana on the plane, causing what has been pointed out as "breaking the colour pie". If you change the essence of the mana, the effects differ.
The mana pillars were put there by Dizdemona Arowyn in an attempt at revenge. The plane used to be completely balanced, however as I mentioned it was artificially. A planeswalker named Enbane Garrot actially created a device when the plane was young as an experiment. He knew artificial planes had problems, so what if he took a natural plane and MADE it perfect. He created a device to do this, the Ari'Kan. The mana pillars were an attempt to sabotage the machine, after Enbane betrayed Dizdemona much earlier in this plot, and change what the Ari'Kan did. It worked, as the card portrays, but the side effects were "colour-pie breaking".
Thank you to MOON-E who provided some real insight to the set. We probably will rework allegiance and dominance. The reason they are like that is that two years ago, they were entirely different mechanics, but didnt work right and just got changed and changed until we could use it. Please PM me and hopefully we can talk this through and end up with a much better set. This is a learning process for me.
If anybody has any suggestions as to how to better work the plot in, or any questions about our admittedly confusing plot, PM me. Because I think I need the help.
Thank you to everyone
Sets based around color-pie breaking are incredibly hard to make because it's impossible to tell when you've gone too far. The only thing you have to compare to is Time Spiral, which IMO was full of bad design choices. Either way, any attempt to break the color pie results in what you experienced here, massive whip lash from anyone who reads it.
The war flavor is nice, but if anything it should be handled like MBS. Remove the bant and grixis specifications and the "angels/demons matter" theme. Instead, focus on two separate mechanical identities.
If this set is about breaking the color pie, you should also take out the snow cards and the colored artifacts, and look for more interesting ways to bend the color pie. If you want, maybe try a multicolor approach. Multicolor pie bending hasn't been done before, though it is rather hard. An important thing to remember is that bending the pie is just bending, not breaking. For instance, splashing pumps into red works, since pumps are green, but red shouldn't get damage prevention (normally white.)
If you want a war theme, you could always try having the normal cards fighting the twisted cards.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"In the beginning, MTG Salvation switched to a new forum format.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
It was at that moment that I realized: I'm kinda just making these things up. We can just write the rules the way we want them to work. People will have fun, and people will get it.
Okay, after having looked over several cards I will admit that the first card, Absorption Stone, was the most grievously 'wrong' card I could see. It may have been a hasty comment, but I stand by my decision. Each card is a part of the set and should (a) be cool and fun, (b) help build world flavour and/or (c) be mechanically bound to the set.
Moon-E's comments are great and will help to push you in the right direction. I think the most important part is to take a big step back and work out what exactly each faction will be doing and consider, from a story perspective, how they will be going about doing that. Who is being brought into this fight, either directly or indirectly, and how? How will they be fighting? With whom will they align themselves in their struggle for survival / supremacy?
Once you have that, work on the mechanics for each faction or aspect of the world. See how these may play into or against one another. Both allegiance and dominance reward you for playing tribal strategies, but both are very open-ended. One requires you tap, the other doesn't, but otherwise they're remarkably similar. I would recommend making these look a bit more distinct from one another, to help flesh out the two sides. If they're doing things the same then they're really not all that different. You've mentioned falling under a 'veil' or rising to 'reclamation'. Use these concepts to help drive the set.
I quite like the idea behind the set, that it's the black-aligned ones fighting for the ultimate 'good' because the land belongs to them (black themes of possession and self-centredness) versus the white-aligned ones acting with 'evil' intentions (white themes of justice and a warped sense of purity). There's much you can do with this.
Also, when designing cards look at the relative complexity or current Magic sets. Rarity, colour pie and strength of cards are all important aspects of which to be aware.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Gaymer
Custom Card / Set Reviewer
When reviewing custom cards / sets, I look for (a) flavour, (b) function, and (c) cohesiveness, generally through a risk focus.
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
Mayla, once a plane of artificial balance and unity, is now stuck in a civil war. One nation fighting against the nation for the fate of the plane. Only, they dont know it. The inhabitants all believe there is a territory war happening, all the while it is two planeswalkers using civillans to fight for the very future of the plane. One planeswalker, an elven white mage Dizdemona Arowyn, is fighting to destroy the plane's artificial unity and the plane itself, all for revenge and a twisted sense of justice. The other, a native elven black mage Kyrina Duskcaller, is fighting to keep the lands that are so rightfully theirs.
Two nations, two planeswalkers. Will the plane fall under a Veil, or rise to reclamation?
Allegiance X to [SUBTYPE] - As long as you control X [SUBTYPE], then your creature gains said effect.
Dominance X over [SUBTYPE] - As this card comes into play, as an additional cost you may tap X [SUBTYPE]. If you do, your creature gains said effect.
We are still looking for art, so if anybody wants to submit art for cards we will gladly accept it. We must insist we have a name to credit though.
Design credit to Matthew Loach and Devon Manners. Thanks to all who helped
Set 1 of 3 in the Mayla block.
MWS file available for download.
280/280 plus tokens, in alphabetical order.
i stopped reading here because such an erroneous card is a bad omen of what else is in there. This one card ignores the colour pie, power levels, the impact of rarity, and templating conventions.
Sorry but I can't review this set.
Custom Card / Set Reviewer
When reviewing custom cards / sets, I look for (a) flavour, (b) function, and (c) cohesiveness, generally through a risk focus.
- What is this set supposed to be about? Is it a snow set? Is it a multicolor set? Is it a colored-artifacts set? The design is all over the place so the set feels scattered. Very few of the cards actually feel like they work together or belong in the same set.
- The entire set is plagued by color-pie breaking abilities. Blue destroys permanents? Bant colors exile graveyards? Red prevents damage? The best example of this is the two green cards that give +5/-3 and +0/+5, or something like that. adding power for toughness is usually a black or red ability, and adding only toughness is usually white. You could make an argument for them in green, but you can make an argument for anything in any color, that doesn't mean it should be there.
- A lot of the cards seem over designed, and other seem under designed. You have a lot of cards with a ton of text and two or three abilities on them, followed by a bunch french vanilla creatures. It seems like these were just made one at a time, and thrown together with some filler cards.
- Allegiance and Dominance do not work the way they appear. What you're trying to do is create a keyword, but they're really ability words. Keywords can have numbers and types attached to them, but they can't specify an ability the way you want Alliance and Dominance to. In order to have Allegiance and Dominance activate the abilities the way you want them to, they have to be ability words and their triggers mush be written into the text. For example:
Allegiance - As long as you control 2 or more Angels, ~ has flying.
Dominance - When ~ enters the battlefield, you may tap 2 Demon creature you control. If you do, ~ deals 2 damage to target creature or player.
Furthermore, many of the Dominance abilities have static abilities as a result, which would be incredibly confusing. There's no physical representation to remember if you tapped the creatures when you played the Dominance creature, leading to lots of memory problems.
- The flavor of the set isn't clear to me. This is probably just a lack of art/flavor text, but it also lies in the unfocused design of the set. Take Mirrodin Besieged for example. MBS has two very unique factions, and even without water marks you can tell them apart. One has infect while the other has metalcraft. This set doesn't have any clear mechanical cohesion, so it's difficult to tell who's fighting who.
There are some good ideas, but perhaps too many ideas. My advice would be to choose a specific design goal for your set, and try to redesign from there.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
Comic Book Set
Archester: Frontier of Steam (A steampunk set!)
A Good Place to Start Designing
My art blog
Claims:
The kicker variant in WWK will be "Kicker without a kicked effect." - proven wrong Jan 2010 : 2 wrongs
Decks:
:symu::symb: Bloodchief Ascension - Modern
:symb::symr: Rakdos, the Defiler - EDH
:symu::symb::symw: Sharuum the Hegemon - EDH
:symw::symu::symb: Zur the Enchanter - EDH
It doesn't actually mean anything. It's like an ability word. "Allegiance N to [type]" could be taken off of the cards entirely, and instead read "As long as you control N [type], [effect]".
My art blog
Claims:
The kicker variant in WWK will be "Kicker without a kicked effect." - proven wrong Jan 2010 : 2 wrongs
Decks:
:symu::symb: Bloodchief Ascension - Modern
:symb::symr: Rakdos, the Defiler - EDH
:symu::symb::symw: Sharuum the Hegemon - EDH
:symw::symu::symb: Zur the Enchanter - EDH
Bant are fighting, albeit unaware, for the destruction of their plane. Even if they think its for justice, an underhanded leader brings underhanded tactics. Grixis are fighting to keep their land, which is rightfully theirs.
The cycle of mana pillars are actually physically changing the mana on the plane, causing what has been pointed out as "breaking the colour pie". If you change the essence of the mana, the effects differ.
The mana pillars were put there by Dizdemona Arowyn in an attempt at revenge. The plane used to be completely balanced, however as I mentioned it was artificially. A planeswalker named Enbane Garrot actially created a device when the plane was young as an experiment. He knew artificial planes had problems, so what if he took a natural plane and MADE it perfect. He created a device to do this, the Ari'Kan. The mana pillars were an attempt to sabotage the machine, after Enbane betrayed Dizdemona much earlier in this plot, and change what the Ari'Kan did. It worked, as the card portrays, but the side effects were "colour-pie breaking".
Thank you to MOON-E who provided some real insight to the set. We probably will rework allegiance and dominance. The reason they are like that is that two years ago, they were entirely different mechanics, but didnt work right and just got changed and changed until we could use it. Please PM me and hopefully we can talk this through and end up with a much better set. This is a learning process for me.
If anybody has any suggestions as to how to better work the plot in, or any questions about our admittedly confusing plot, PM me. Because I think I need the help.
Thank you to everyone
The war flavor is nice, but if anything it should be handled like MBS. Remove the bant and grixis specifications and the "angels/demons matter" theme. Instead, focus on two separate mechanical identities.
If this set is about breaking the color pie, you should also take out the snow cards and the colored artifacts, and look for more interesting ways to bend the color pie. If you want, maybe try a multicolor approach. Multicolor pie bending hasn't been done before, though it is rather hard. An important thing to remember is that bending the pie is just bending, not breaking. For instance, splashing pumps into red works, since pumps are green, but red shouldn't get damage prevention (normally white.)
If you want a war theme, you could always try having the normal cards fighting the twisted cards.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
Comic Book Set
Archester: Frontier of Steam (A steampunk set!)
A Good Place to Start Designing
Moon-E's comments are great and will help to push you in the right direction. I think the most important part is to take a big step back and work out what exactly each faction will be doing and consider, from a story perspective, how they will be going about doing that. Who is being brought into this fight, either directly or indirectly, and how? How will they be fighting? With whom will they align themselves in their struggle for survival / supremacy?
Once you have that, work on the mechanics for each faction or aspect of the world. See how these may play into or against one another. Both allegiance and dominance reward you for playing tribal strategies, but both are very open-ended. One requires you tap, the other doesn't, but otherwise they're remarkably similar. I would recommend making these look a bit more distinct from one another, to help flesh out the two sides. If they're doing things the same then they're really not all that different. You've mentioned falling under a 'veil' or rising to 'reclamation'. Use these concepts to help drive the set.
I quite like the idea behind the set, that it's the black-aligned ones fighting for the ultimate 'good' because the land belongs to them (black themes of possession and self-centredness) versus the white-aligned ones acting with 'evil' intentions (white themes of justice and a warped sense of purity). There's much you can do with this.
Also, when designing cards look at the relative complexity or current Magic sets. Rarity, colour pie and strength of cards are all important aspects of which to be aware.
Custom Card / Set Reviewer
When reviewing custom cards / sets, I look for (a) flavour, (b) function, and (c) cohesiveness, generally through a risk focus.