Welcome to the offices of the New Phyrexia Evening Picayune
$1 (or 2 life)
Further budget cutbacks mean we only have two beat reporters left: Pocketwatch and Hyral.
Apparently we couldn't decide who to let go from the other two desks, so we have four stringers in this challenge: MagicBrains, Lordschruft, yewlas and Gerrard's Mom. Time for another lightning round!
Stringers' Challenges
These articles are FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE. Post that you're taking one of these challenges in your placeholder and I will cross it off. I will judge this challenge and pass through two of you to the next round. You will still have to do the Beat Reporters' Challenge below if you make it through.
Unfortunately the editors weren't really sure what we wanted when we gave column space to these pieces, so do your best with these somewhat vague descriptions.
A warm family story, something about overcoming adversity with an inspirational ending? You know, holiday schlock. (A green enchantment, can be any other colors.)
There's this politician we don't like who's been trying to stop the bulldozing of the local orphanage for more strip mines. Make up a scandal to wreck his reputation. (Corrupt a traditional Magic hero, or make an aura that would turn a good guy bad.)
We hear there's this piece of technology the kids are using these days. It's just a new way for pornographers and rapists to corrupt our children! Alarm everyone! (A noncreature artifact.)
A local sports hero has decided to start a puppy farm to feed hungry children. Isn't he great? (A land.)
DEADLINE: MONDAY, Dec, 19 at 9 PM PST.
Beat Reporters' Challenge
Most articles start with, oh, an article, but this time you'll be designing to headlines. Take these phrases and "backronym" them in the names of a group of four cards. (Tie them in mechanically too for extra awesomeness.)
EXAMPLE:
MILL YOU
Misty Isle
Land t: Put some cards somewhere.
Lazy Larry
Legendary Creature - Human Sloth t: Put some other cards in some graveyard.
Yummy Oreos
Artifact
Sacrifice Yummy Oreos: Take a snack break. If you control another artifact named Yummy Oreos, put them together to make Quadruple Stuffs.
Ungulate
Creature
When Ungulate enters the battlefield, throw some cards in a fire.
You get the idea. I suddenly want to go eat some Oreos.
Pocketwatch vs. yewlas
Phrase: SLY CHAOS
Hyral vs. Gerrard's Mom
Phrase: I'M HOLIER
DEADLINE: Wednesday, Dec. 21 at 9 p.m. PST
The Card Creation League is a monthly contest in which players compete over seven rounds. Each month has an overall theme and/or story, determined by that month's host.
Each round, the host will assign a card creation task to the players. This task may vary between teams or players.
The first three rounds are open to everyone who joined in the sign-up thread, which will be posted near the end of the previous month. After these rounds, the Top 8 players will move on to three single elimination rounds to determine a winner.
Rounds usually last three to four days for submissions and about two days for critiques, but the host has final say in making the schedule.
For the first three rounds, players are divided into teams. Four teams is standard, but there may be more or less depending on the number of players. Each team will review another team's cards during the critique period of that round.
Each player must submit a Top 3 ranking for the team he or she critiques at the end of each round. Each 1st place is worth 3 points, 2nd place 2 points, and 3rd place 1 point.
Additionally, each player can receive 2 bonus points per round. One point is awarded for posting a Top 3, and one point for providing critiques for that team's cards.
Suggested areas to critique include creativity, balance, printability, and relation to the overall theme or that player's previous cards.
Players who do not post a card or a Top 3 will be put on "probation." Top 3 violations for a round can be removed by posting or PMing the host with your Top 3 before the end of the next round. Any player that would receive a second violation is disqualified from further competition that month.
At the end of the first three rounds, the Top 8 players will be selected by points (usually the top 2 from each team). In the case of ties, there may be more than 8 players advancing. The host will determine matchups for single elimination. At the end of each elimination round, remaining players not in that matchup will choose a winner to advance. The host will break any ties.
The final round is determined by public poll.
Prior to Top 8, players have a chance of getting a total of 100 points toward their score each Scoring Round. Scores for each Round are determined by the following equation:
Total points of Player A in round N = 100 * X/Y, where:
X = Total number of Scoring Points (Judge Points + Additional Points from Top 3 & Critiques)
Y = Total number of Possible Points (3 * Number of Judges + Additional Points)
3 points are given for a First Place Top 3 finish, 2 points for a Second Place, and 1 point for a Third Place. 1 additional point is awarded if a Top 3 is submitted. 1 additional point is awarded if Critiques are given for all entries to be judged.
This way the grading is more streamlined in the fact that all rounds prior to Top 8 are graded equally, and there is no handicap for any team that has fewer judges.
Each player accumulates points from each Scoring Round until the end of Round 3.
A local sports hero has decided to start a puppy farm to feed hungry children. Isn't he great? (A land.)
Food Farm
Land T, Sarcifice a creature: Add or to your mana pool equal to the sacrificed creatures toughness. 1, Sacrifice a creature: Remove 1 damage marked upon target creature you control for each 1 toughness of the sacrificed creature. (You get to choose the source of the damage being removed.) The line between good and evil is completely subject to perspective.
I think the wording on the second ability is a bit clunky. I didn't make it ETB tapped because the cost to gain mana, in my opinion, is pretty high.
Teferi, Madman of Zhalfir3UR
Legendary Creature- Human Wizard (M)
When Teferi, Madman of Zhalfir enters the battlefield, each player exiles his or her hand.
If a player would draw a card, exile that card instead. Then, he or she may play an exiled card at random without paying its mana cost.
4/3 “Me?! Crazy?! My homeland was lost forever in the space between time, so, yeah, maybe a little!”
Stimulator Switch3
Artifact - Equipment (U) X: Stimulator Switch deals X damage to equipped creature. That creature gets +X/+X until end of turn.
Equip 1(1: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the creature leaves.)
Bonus flavor text (for foils?): Don't press too hard.
Inspiration has struck! Quickly now, before writer's block returns!
Submission for this round in the spoiler below. I might not have time to critiques for this round until after Christmas, I have a lot of family activities to attend and help with.
Seize2RR
Sorcery (U)
Gain control of target land. Sacrifice it at the beginning of your next upkeep. "The city is ours! Now burn it to the ground."
-Lucius, Young Conqueror
Lucius, Young Conqueror3BR
Legendary Creature - Human Knight (R)
First Strike
Whenever Lucius, Young Conqueror attacks, sacrifice a permanent. If you do, you may have Lucius, Young Conqueror deal 3 damage to target creature. He grew infamous for his careless sacrifices of his men and his constant victories.
5/3
Horrific Assault2B
Sorcery (C)
As an additional cost to cast Horrific Assault, sacrifice a creature you control.
Creatures target player controls get -2/-2 until end of turn. The armies of Lucius won as many battles by inspiring sheer terror as they did through their strength at arms.
-The Fall of the Madewn Empire
Oppressive Skies2UU
Enchantment
Creatures don't untap during their controller's untap step unless their controller pays 2 for each creature. "A strange lethargy has fallen over our troops with the coming of these clouds. What unknown sorceries does Lucius have at his command?"
-Jeril, Madewn general
Man this was a crazy hard round. I hated and loved it! I know they will never make another kamigawa set, but gotta keep the hope alive. (I'm sure you all hate after saying that)
Immutable Mentor 2UU
Creature - Spirit {U}
Splice onto instant or sorcery 1U
Irresistible (While this spell is on the stack it can’t be the target of spells or abilities.)
Flying, Hexproof The teachings of the ancients will never change, yet they will remain ever wise.
3/2
Hysteria 1RR
Enchantment - Aura {U}
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has haste.
At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player untaps enchanted creature and gains control of it.
When enchanted creature dies it deals damage equal to its power to it’s controller.
Otherworldly Landscape
Land {U}
As Otherworldly Landscape enters the battlefield, choose a color and you may pay 1. If you don’t, Otherworldly Landscape enters the battlefield tapped. T: Add one mana of the chosen color to your mana pool.
Isubari, Earth's Rage 2GGG
Legendary Creature - Spirit {R}
Trample
Whenever Isubari, Earth’s Rage attacks an opponent, each untapped land you control becomes a 3/3 green spirit creature until end of turn, those lands are tapped and attacking that opponent. They are still lands.
5/5
Segmented Lorica2
Artifact- Equipment (U)
If a source would deal damage to equipped creature, it deals that much damage minus 1 instead.
Equip- 2 The Legion were the first to piece together this innovative armor from the shattered pieces of their foes' mail.
Yieldless ChampionWW
Creature- Human Knight (R)
Attacking creatures you control are indestructible.
2/2 "In the pit, we fight not only for our lives and our honor, but for the freedom of our families. We must not let them down."
—Septima of the Seven Swords
Halcyon Aqueduct
Land (R)
Halcyon Aqueduct enters the battlefield tapped unless you have target opponent gain 3 life. T: Add W or U to your mana pool. The Nords stood in awe before the splendor of nature and Imperial craftsmanship.
Oracle's Sorrow2B
Sorcery (C) Punish — Oracle's Sorrow costs 2 less to cast if a player was dealt damage this turn.
Target player reveals his or her hand. You choose a nonland card from it. That player discards that card.
I think it's fine yewlas, I'm making this my entry as well.
Intrepid Missionary1(W/R)
Creature - Human Cleric Warrior (U)
Whenever Intrepid Missionary deals damage to a creature, each player gains that much life. Those with the most exuberant faith in Vania are sent to the frontiers as missionaries, where they can spread the word or die trying.
3/1
Healer's Orders(W/U)
Enchantment - Aura (U)
Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature is dealt damage, put that many sleep counters on it.
Enchanted creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step if it has a sleep counter on it.
At the beginning of the upkeep of enchanted creature's controller, remove a sleep counter from that creature.
Lay Initiate(W/G)
Creature - Human Monk (R)
Whenever another creature you control gets a bonus to power and/or toughness until end of turn, Lay Initiate also gets that bonus until end of turn. (For example, if another creature you control gets +2/+4 until end of turn, Lay Initiate also gets +2/+4 until end of turn.) "Dogma is wasted on the commoners. Teach them by example."
-Harvald, Abbot of Vania's Reach
1/1
Endless Return2(W/B)
Enchantment (R) 2, Sacrifice a creature: Return target creature card with converted mana cost equal to the sacrificed creature's converted mana cost from your graveyard to the battlefield. Chenndra reached gladly for the path of light out of the darkness, but was forever haunted by the face of the one that she saw passing down as she made her escape.
Pocketwatch:
Reasonable theme, nothing terribly ground-breaking but it's solid. I wish Seize untapped the land so you could use it, without mana burn they can tap it with no penalty. Horrific Assault is a pretty good Infest variant, but it's probably printable at that level. I think you want to refer to Dream Tides for wording on your last card, and it is missing rarity.
yewlas:
The Lorica is fine I suppose, you could use Absorb. "Yieldless" is pretty awkward and would sound a lot better as "Unyielding," but ok. Dolmen Gate says that this might be possible, but it seems very powerful. The dual land is decent I suppose, not sure if it would make sense in all color combinations but you're not necessarily implying that it would. Punish seems like a fine mechanic, and Coercion is an effect that fits it pretty well.
Both of you did well, it's rare to judge that many cards at once and have them all be nearly printable. In this case I will have to give the edge to yewlas for being a little more innovative than Pocketwatch, but it is very close.
This is how we're critiquing this round, right? I could critique Hyral as well for a Top 3, but the vs. seems to imply brackets and that Phyrexian Editor will break ties if we have them.
It's nice to see this version of splice, but adding a creature's text onto a nonpermanent spell opens up all sorts of weirdness. The first time I see "splice onto instant or sorcery" I don't particularly want to think too long and hard about why its on a creature, and what exactly that means. Wizards doesn't generally like referring to "the stack," but I think it should be a necessity of new players to learn how that works, so no complaints from me on that front.
Hysteria has some nice tension to it. I tried to dabble with this sort of stealing/borrowing effect in red in a different thread, but I like how smooth this one works. I see Johnny trying to enchant his own fatty and killing it for massive damage. Nice work.
Otherworldly Landscape really reminds me of Rupture Spire, which was common. The bump in rarity is probably necessary, though, for the memory issues involved. Honestly, that puts the card into a weird place. At uncommon, it will still show up with some frequency in Limited and new players' boosters, so the memory issue is an important one. Of course, considering a similar effect can be achieved at common, I'm not sure where this fits as written.
I'm not 100%, but I think Isubari should be worded "Whenever Isubari, Earth’s Rage attacks, tap all untapped lands you control. Those lands become attacking 3/3 green Spirit creatures in addition to their other types until end of turn." Of course, I could very easily be wrong. Anyway, this card is really cool and really powerful. Since you have to choose between casting spells and attacking, it's probably more okay. I don't particularly like the "attacks an opponent" bit, since I'm not certain it is necessary (and not doing so opens up all sorts of multiplayer fun). The lands should maybe be 2/2, but still, I really like this card.
Intrepid Missionary strikes me as really weird. Being hybrid, red should be able to cast this by itself, and the only red part of this card to me is the P/T. In gold I'd buy this, but not as hybrid it gives red life gain, which is super weird.
Healer's Orders certainly works as a hybrid card. The sleep counters being added based on damage strikes me as a little odd, though, both mechanically and flavorfully. Mechanically, you only get to tap down the creature by dealing damage to it, so you either have to chump block, purposefully make bad attacks, or ping it. Two of those three options require sacrificing (not the game term) your own creatures, which is at the very least iffy in WU, and the other is mostly red. Flavorfully, why does getting hit or burned cause you to fall asleep? Are they being knocked unconscious? Regardless, I'm not sure why either is called Healer's Orders, unless you're putting the creature into a recuperative coma?
Lay Initiate is an absolutely awesome design. If I read this right, a mass pump spell like Glorious Charge gives the Initiate an additional +1/+1 for each creature you control, which is awesome. Anyway, the wording is a little confusing, but it pretty much has to be for this manner of ability. I really don't have anything bad to say about this design. Excellent work.
I can't read Endless Return without thinking of Recurring Nightmare. I'm almost certain that this would be used with Scornful Egotist and other such nonsense. I'm a Johnny, though. I'd probably cost this a little higher (the mana cost, not the ability), and/or add color to the activated. Overall, this probably needs a development eye, but is a very cool design.
This was a really, really tough decision to make. Both of you did a great job and designed some awesome cards that I'd love to play. Ultimately, I'm going to go with Hyral. I think the hybrid theme was just a bit too constraining, GM, and caused some of your cards to look odd; I get you were trying to tie them mechanically, but I don't think it paid off as well as it could have. Fantastic work, both of you. Good round.
I heavily considered just doing absorb for Segmented Lorica. These cards are mostly based on an idea I had a while back for a combat themed set, which is where the punish mechanic comes from. And, for a set that focuses on combat and damage in particular, using a keyword on multiple cards for damage prevention seemed really weird.
For the champion, I used Dolmen Gate and Knight Exemplar as references. Especially with the knight, I thought the tradeoff from a tribal effect and permanent first strike let me squeak by as a two-drop. I almost made it all attacking creatures, but decided to just go with the more straight-forward "good for me" version. And I agree, "Yieldless" doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but I'm mostly just happy I thought of something besides "Youthful," which was what was there up until my last read through.
I hadn't really thought about Punish vs. Prowl, before, but I definitely see the similarities. I like pulling it away from tribal, though, and the effect is similar to metalcraft; it won't always be a cost reduction, but this one was.
Thanks so much for the advice and critiques! If I ever get around to working on that set again, this will be some very useful information.
Seize: Not sure how great this is without untapping the land since the other player can tap it with no negative. Really its just stone rain for one more that gives you a permanent to eat with your other cards.
Lucius, Young Conqueror: This feels fairly under powered as far as a multicolored rare legend goes. If you could deal the damage to a player it would be much better, because as is if your opponent has no creatures, in order to attack with him you have to sacrifice a permanent to do no damage.
Horrific Assault: This is the best card of your 4. Its rightly costed, and has a fairly powerful effect in the early game. It can also be a fairly interesting post combat trick to turn a lost combat into a ***.
Oppressive Skies: This just feels like a really bad propaganda to me. Not much else to say about it.
Segmented Lorica: This is really close to absorb, except for the fact that your using a replacement effect so it gets around the few red no prevention cards. I'm not sure "absorb 1" is worth 2-2 I think it could be 1-2 or maybe even 2-1.
Yieldless Champion: My only complaint here is I feel like it should be 3 mana. It's a really powerful effect for only 2, however it is easy to deal with, in that it only has a 2/2 body.
Halcyon Aqueduct: I really like this drawback, this is a good land. I think it would be overpowered at 2 life and underpowered at 4, so well done there. And anything that helps your big false cure turn is awesome in my book.
Oracle's Sorrow: Nothing inventive here other than punish. Punish is defiantly an interesting effect, though I feel its basically already been done with prowl. That being said anything that causes you to think through a creative way to get some damage through so you can cast your spells is pretty great game play.
Thinking on this a lot I feel like Yewlas did the better job, simply put he had all around better cards and both players stay equally true to the challenge.
Just to explain my thoughts there, the Missionary is red in the sense of being an aggressive creature with a drawback. Drawing lands isn't something red does, but Goblin Guide uses it as a drawback. See Collapsing Borders for another example of red life gain used this way. No questions it is on the bleedy side of hybrid though.
As for Healer's Orders, the flavor idea is that whenever the creature is damaged, the healer tells them they need to rest while they slowly recover. I had rest counters but I wanted to use a type that already existed. I thought flavor was the main thing going for that idea, mechanically it's a last pick in draft.
Finally done with the Christmas hustle and bustle. Sorry these are late, but I literally didn't have an hour to sit down and do this.
Immutable Mentor: Very texty, for starters. Splice is confusing, I think what this is supposed to do is when spliced make the other spell non targetable? Bizarre, not sure it works.
Hysteria: I think this would be equally interesting without the death trigger, but each to his own. Unfortunately, you won't get the creature until the beginning of your next turn, and your opponent gets an untap trigger to play with in the meantime. I'm trying to think of shenanigans other than Bronze Bombshell with this, and coming up blank for the moment.
Otherworldly Landscape: So, it sort of functions like Evolving Wilds and Terramorphic Expanse, but in a really odd way. Don't really like it.
Isubari, Earth's Rage: Wording might be a bit off, I can see what you were trying to do though. Seems like you set up a turn six attack with a 5/5 with trample and 5 3/3s with trample. Or next turn lethal, in other words. That aspect I don't care for, though the idea behind the design of an attacking creature animating your lands is fine, and very Kamigawa (I loved Kamigawa, hope WotC returns at some point).
Intrepid Missionary: Lifegain is pretty odd in red, I think this creature would much rather be a 3/1 for WR. Very interesting, though.
Creature - Human Cleric Warrior (U)
Whenever Intrepid Missionary deals damage to a creature, each player gains that much life.
Healer's Orders: Hm. Persuade the opponent to keep a target out of combat by locking it out if it enters. Seems okay, not very useful on little creatures since they're more likely to die if blocked.
Lay Initiate: Maybe a bit under costed, but very interesting. I'm thinking have 2 down, some other creatures, and then Overrun *evil cackle*. Definitely the right color(s) for this.
Endless ReturnThis doesn't belong in mono-white, to me. Infinite loops with Cathodions and Coal Stokers, probably more, and probably a few other combos. I'd put this at 1WB and be pretty happy with it. Nice combo piece.
Gerrard's Mom
Congrats to yewlas, you definitely out designed me that round, I liked your cards better than mine. Good luck in the final!
Seize: Oops, forgot about that. Definitely need to add that rider for the design files.
Oppressive Skies: Hm, Dream Tides is definitely the wording I wanted. I blame trying to study for finals at the same time.
Lucius, Young Conqueror: Underpowered, huh? Maybe I should have kept the original effect:
Lucius, Young Conqueror3BR
Legendary Creature - Human Knight (R)
First Strike
Whenever Lucius, Young Conqueror attacks, sacrifice a permanent.
Whenever you sacrifice a permanent, you may have Lucius, Young Conqueror deal 2 damage to target creature or player. He grew infamous for his careless sacrifices of his men and his constant victories.
5/3
Wow didn't think Immutable Mentor would be confusing. Maybe I should have added splice's reminder text and not had flavor text. Splice adds the text (only the stuff in the text box) so the spiceie's text becomes whatever spell you used with splice, Irresistible, flying and hexproof, written under it. Only irresistible matters though as far as an instant or sorcery is concerned.
On a side note @ pocketwatch how is a 8 word card (excluding reminder text) wordy?
Wow didn't think Immutable Mentor would be confusing. Maybe I should have added splice's reminder text and not had flavor text. Splice adds the text (only the stuff in the text box) so the spiceie's text becomes whatever spell you used with splice, Irresistible, flying and hexproof, written under it. Only irresistible matters though as far as an instant or sorcery is concerned.
That's exactly the problem. Billy Newplayer (and plenty of Edgar Experienced players, too) is going to have a hard time understanding what flying means on a noncreature spell, not to mention that hexproof on an instant or sorcery looks deceptively like Irresistable. I tried to put Splice on creatures in some of my for-fun design files with ETB triggers, but it felt weird to me. Still, I'll give props for pushing boundaries.
Oh, the wordy comment was at the necessary reminder text. Eight words is not wordy at all. However, Irresistable needs the text since it doesn't exist elsewhere, and splicing a creature onto another spell would definitely need it. Yewlas pretty much nailed it on how that works. It's like a card I saw on these boards a while back (see below). Seems intuitive only if you know what it's supposed to do in the first place, which for the example below was to have extra damage above lethal be assigned to the creature's controller. For yours, it's defining how splice works on a creature by adding passive abilities.
Red BurnRRR
Sorcery
Red Burn deals 5 damage to target creature.
Trample
New Phyrexia Evening Picayune
$1 (or 2 life)
Further budget cutbacks mean we only have two beat reporters left: Pocketwatch and Hyral.
Apparently we couldn't decide who to let go from the other two desks, so we have four stringers in this challenge: MagicBrains, Lordschruft, yewlas and Gerrard's Mom. Time for another lightning round!
Stringers' Challenges
These articles are FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE. Post that you're taking one of these challenges in your placeholder and I will cross it off. I will judge this challenge and pass through two of you to the next round. You will still have to do the Beat Reporters' Challenge below if you make it through.
Unfortunately the editors weren't really sure what we wanted when we gave column space to these pieces, so do your best with these somewhat vague descriptions.
A warm family story, something about overcoming adversity with an inspirational ending? You know, holiday schlock. (A green enchantment, can be any other colors.)Beat Reporters' Challenge
Most articles start with, oh, an article, but this time you'll be designing to headlines. Take these phrases and "backronym" them in the names of a group of four cards. (Tie them in mechanically too for extra awesomeness.)
EXAMPLE:
MILL YOU
Misty Isle
Land
t: Put some cards somewhere.
Lazy Larry
Legendary Creature - Human Sloth
t: Put some other cards in some graveyard.
Yummy Oreos
Artifact
Sacrifice Yummy Oreos: Take a snack break. If you control another artifact named Yummy Oreos, put them together to make Quadruple Stuffs.
Ungulate
Creature
When Ungulate enters the battlefield, throw some cards in a fire.
You get the idea. I suddenly want to go eat some Oreos.
Pocketwatch vs. yewlas
Phrase: SLY CHAOS
Hyral vs. Gerrard's Mom
Phrase: I'M HOLIER
DEADLINE: Wednesday, Dec. 21 at 9 p.m. PST
Y = Total number of Possible Points (3 * Number of Judges + Additional Points)
Food Farm
Land
T, Sarcifice a creature: Add or to your mana pool equal to the sacrificed creatures toughness.
1, Sacrifice a creature: Remove 1 damage marked upon target creature you control for each 1 toughness of the sacrificed creature. (You get to choose the source of the damage being removed.)
The line between good and evil is completely subject to perspective.
I think the wording on the second ability is a bit clunky. I didn't make it ETB tapped because the cost to gain mana, in my opinion, is pretty high.
This is for me more than it is for anyone else. I sucks at colors.
Teferi, Madman of Zhalfir 3UR
Legendary Creature- Human Wizard (M)
When Teferi, Madman of Zhalfir enters the battlefield, each player exiles his or her hand.
If a player would draw a card, exile that card instead. Then, he or she may play an exiled card at random without paying its mana cost.
4/3
“Me?! Crazy?! My homeland was lost forever in the space between time, so, yeah, maybe a little!”
Mechanic Creator's Contest III- Winner
[Clan Flamingo]
Stimulator Switch 3
Artifact - Equipment (U)
X: Stimulator Switch deals X damage to equipped creature. That creature gets +X/+X until end of turn.
Equip 1 (1: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card enters the battlefield unattached and stays on the battlefield if the creature leaves.)
Bonus flavor text (for foils?):
Don't press too hard.
Yes, I was hoping you would end up with this one considering where you work.
Submission for this round in the spoiler below. I might not have time to critiques for this round until after Christmas, I have a lot of family activities to attend and help with.
Seize 2RR
Sorcery (U)
Gain control of target land. Sacrifice it at the beginning of your next upkeep.
"The city is ours! Now burn it to the ground."
-Lucius, Young Conqueror
Lucius, Young Conqueror 3BR
Legendary Creature - Human Knight (R)
First Strike
Whenever Lucius, Young Conqueror attacks, sacrifice a permanent. If you do, you may have Lucius, Young Conqueror deal 3 damage to target creature.
He grew infamous for his careless sacrifices of his men and his constant victories.
5/3
Horrific Assault 2B
Sorcery (C)
As an additional cost to cast Horrific Assault, sacrifice a creature you control.
Creatures target player controls get -2/-2 until end of turn.
The armies of Lucius won as many battles by inspiring sheer terror as they did through their strength at arms.
-The Fall of the Madewn Empire
Oppressive Skies 2UU
Enchantment
Creatures don't untap during their controller's untap step unless their controller pays 2 for each creature.
"A strange lethargy has fallen over our troops with the coming of these clouds. What unknown sorceries does Lucius have at his command?"
-Jeril, Madewn general
Immutable Mentor 2UU
Creature - Spirit {U}
Splice onto instant or sorcery 1U
Irresistible (While this spell is on the stack it can’t be the target of spells or abilities.)
Flying, Hexproof
The teachings of the ancients will never change, yet they will remain ever wise.
3/2
Hysteria 1RR
Enchantment - Aura {U}
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has haste.
At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player untaps enchanted creature and gains control of it.
When enchanted creature dies it deals damage equal to its power to it’s controller.
Otherworldly Landscape
Land {U}
As Otherworldly Landscape enters the battlefield, choose a color and you may pay 1. If you don’t, Otherworldly Landscape enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add one mana of the chosen color to your mana pool.
Isubari, Earth's Rage 2GGG
Legendary Creature - Spirit {R}
Trample
Whenever Isubari, Earth’s Rage attacks an opponent, each untapped land you control becomes a 3/3 green spirit creature until end of turn, those lands are tapped and attacking that opponent. They are still lands.
5/5
Segmented Lorica 2
Artifact- Equipment (U)
If a source would deal damage to equipped creature, it deals that much damage minus 1 instead.
Equip- 2
The Legion were the first to piece together this innovative armor from the shattered pieces of their foes' mail.
Yieldless Champion WW
Creature- Human Knight (R)
Attacking creatures you control are indestructible.
2/2
"In the pit, we fight not only for our lives and our honor, but for the freedom of our families. We must not let them down."
—Septima of the Seven Swords
Halcyon Aqueduct
Land (R)
Halcyon Aqueduct enters the battlefield tapped unless you have target opponent gain 3 life.
T: Add W or U to your mana pool.
The Nords stood in awe before the splendor of nature and Imperial craftsmanship.
Oracle's Sorrow 2B
Sorcery (C)
Punish — Oracle's Sorrow costs 2 less to cast if a player was dealt damage this turn.
Target player reveals his or her hand. You choose a nonland card from it. That player discards that card.
I, for one, love you for saying that.
Mechanic Creator's Contest III- Winner
[Clan Flamingo]
Intrepid Missionary 1(W/R)
Creature - Human Cleric Warrior (U)
Whenever Intrepid Missionary deals damage to a creature, each player gains that much life.
Those with the most exuberant faith in Vania are sent to the frontiers as missionaries, where they can spread the word or die trying.
3/1
Healer's Orders (W/U)
Enchantment - Aura (U)
Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature is dealt damage, put that many sleep counters on it.
Enchanted creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step if it has a sleep counter on it.
At the beginning of the upkeep of enchanted creature's controller, remove a sleep counter from that creature.
Lay Initiate (W/G)
Creature - Human Monk (R)
Whenever another creature you control gets a bonus to power and/or toughness until end of turn, Lay Initiate also gets that bonus until end of turn. (For example, if another creature you control gets +2/+4 until end of turn, Lay Initiate also gets +2/+4 until end of turn.)
"Dogma is wasted on the commoners. Teach them by example."
-Harvald, Abbot of Vania's Reach
1/1
Endless Return 2(W/B)
Enchantment (R)
2, Sacrifice a creature: Return target creature card with converted mana cost equal to the sacrificed creature's converted mana cost from your graveyard to the battlefield.
Chenndra reached gladly for the path of light out of the darkness, but was forever haunted by the face of the one that she saw passing down as she made her escape.
Pocketwatch:
Reasonable theme, nothing terribly ground-breaking but it's solid. I wish Seize untapped the land so you could use it, without mana burn they can tap it with no penalty. Horrific Assault is a pretty good Infest variant, but it's probably printable at that level. I think you want to refer to Dream Tides for wording on your last card, and it is missing rarity.
yewlas:
The Lorica is fine I suppose, you could use Absorb. "Yieldless" is pretty awkward and would sound a lot better as "Unyielding," but ok. Dolmen Gate says that this might be possible, but it seems very powerful. The dual land is decent I suppose, not sure if it would make sense in all color combinations but you're not necessarily implying that it would. Punish seems like a fine mechanic, and Coercion is an effect that fits it pretty well.
Both of you did well, it's rare to judge that many cards at once and have them all be nearly printable. In this case I will have to give the edge to yewlas for being a little more innovative than Pocketwatch, but it is very close.
This is how we're critiquing this round, right? I could critique Hyral as well for a Top 3, but the vs. seems to imply brackets and that Phyrexian Editor will break ties if we have them.
It's nice to see this version of splice, but adding a creature's text onto a nonpermanent spell opens up all sorts of weirdness. The first time I see "splice onto instant or sorcery" I don't particularly want to think too long and hard about why its on a creature, and what exactly that means. Wizards doesn't generally like referring to "the stack," but I think it should be a necessity of new players to learn how that works, so no complaints from me on that front.
Hysteria has some nice tension to it. I tried to dabble with this sort of stealing/borrowing effect in red in a different thread, but I like how smooth this one works. I see Johnny trying to enchant his own fatty and killing it for massive damage. Nice work.
Otherworldly Landscape really reminds me of Rupture Spire, which was common. The bump in rarity is probably necessary, though, for the memory issues involved. Honestly, that puts the card into a weird place. At uncommon, it will still show up with some frequency in Limited and new players' boosters, so the memory issue is an important one. Of course, considering a similar effect can be achieved at common, I'm not sure where this fits as written.
I'm not 100%, but I think Isubari should be worded "Whenever Isubari, Earth’s Rage attacks, tap all untapped lands you control. Those lands become attacking 3/3 green Spirit creatures in addition to their other types until end of turn." Of course, I could very easily be wrong. Anyway, this card is really cool and really powerful. Since you have to choose between casting spells and attacking, it's probably more okay. I don't particularly like the "attacks an opponent" bit, since I'm not certain it is necessary (and not doing so opens up all sorts of multiplayer fun). The lands should maybe be 2/2, but still, I really like this card.
Intrepid Missionary strikes me as really weird. Being hybrid, red should be able to cast this by itself, and the only red part of this card to me is the P/T. In gold I'd buy this, but not as hybrid it gives red life gain, which is super weird.
Healer's Orders certainly works as a hybrid card. The sleep counters being added based on damage strikes me as a little odd, though, both mechanically and flavorfully. Mechanically, you only get to tap down the creature by dealing damage to it, so you either have to chump block, purposefully make bad attacks, or ping it. Two of those three options require sacrificing (not the game term) your own creatures, which is at the very least iffy in WU, and the other is mostly red. Flavorfully, why does getting hit or burned cause you to fall asleep? Are they being knocked unconscious? Regardless, I'm not sure why either is called Healer's Orders, unless you're putting the creature into a recuperative coma?
Lay Initiate is an absolutely awesome design. If I read this right, a mass pump spell like Glorious Charge gives the Initiate an additional +1/+1 for each creature you control, which is awesome. Anyway, the wording is a little confusing, but it pretty much has to be for this manner of ability. I really don't have anything bad to say about this design. Excellent work.
I can't read Endless Return without thinking of Recurring Nightmare. I'm almost certain that this would be used with Scornful Egotist and other such nonsense. I'm a Johnny, though. I'd probably cost this a little higher (the mana cost, not the ability), and/or add color to the activated. Overall, this probably needs a development eye, but is a very cool design.
This was a really, really tough decision to make. Both of you did a great job and designed some awesome cards that I'd love to play. Ultimately, I'm going to go with Hyral. I think the hybrid theme was just a bit too constraining, GM, and caused some of your cards to look odd; I get you were trying to tie them mechanically, but I don't think it paid off as well as it could have. Fantastic work, both of you. Good round.
I heavily considered just doing absorb for Segmented Lorica. These cards are mostly based on an idea I had a while back for a combat themed set, which is where the punish mechanic comes from. And, for a set that focuses on combat and damage in particular, using a keyword on multiple cards for damage prevention seemed really weird.
For the champion, I used Dolmen Gate and Knight Exemplar as references. Especially with the knight, I thought the tradeoff from a tribal effect and permanent first strike let me squeak by as a two-drop. I almost made it all attacking creatures, but decided to just go with the more straight-forward "good for me" version. And I agree, "Yieldless" doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but I'm mostly just happy I thought of something besides "Youthful," which was what was there up until my last read through.
I hadn't really thought about Punish vs. Prowl, before, but I definitely see the similarities. I like pulling it away from tribal, though, and the effect is similar to metalcraft; it won't always be a cost reduction, but this one was.
Thanks so much for the advice and critiques! If I ever get around to working on that set again, this will be some very useful information.
Mechanic Creator's Contest III- Winner
[Clan Flamingo]
Seize: Not sure how great this is without untapping the land since the other player can tap it with no negative. Really its just stone rain for one more that gives you a permanent to eat with your other cards.
Lucius, Young Conqueror: This feels fairly under powered as far as a multicolored rare legend goes. If you could deal the damage to a player it would be much better, because as is if your opponent has no creatures, in order to attack with him you have to sacrifice a permanent to do no damage.
Horrific Assault: This is the best card of your 4. Its rightly costed, and has a fairly powerful effect in the early game. It can also be a fairly interesting post combat trick to turn a lost combat into a ***.
Oppressive Skies: This just feels like a really bad propaganda to me. Not much else to say about it.
Segmented Lorica: This is really close to absorb, except for the fact that your using a replacement effect so it gets around the few red no prevention cards. I'm not sure "absorb 1" is worth 2-2 I think it could be 1-2 or maybe even 2-1.
Yieldless Champion: My only complaint here is I feel like it should be 3 mana. It's a really powerful effect for only 2, however it is easy to deal with, in that it only has a 2/2 body.
Halcyon Aqueduct: I really like this drawback, this is a good land. I think it would be overpowered at 2 life and underpowered at 4, so well done there. And anything that helps your big false cure turn is awesome in my book.
Oracle's Sorrow: Nothing inventive here other than punish. Punish is defiantly an interesting effect, though I feel its basically already been done with prowl. That being said anything that causes you to think through a creative way to get some damage through so you can cast your spells is pretty great game play.
Thinking on this a lot I feel like Yewlas did the better job, simply put he had all around better cards and both players stay equally true to the challenge.
So grats to Yewlas!
As for Healer's Orders, the flavor idea is that whenever the creature is damaged, the healer tells them they need to rest while they slowly recover. I had rest counters but I wanted to use a type that already existed. I thought flavor was the main thing going for that idea, mechanically it's a last pick in draft.
Immutable Mentor: Very texty, for starters. Splice is confusing, I think what this is supposed to do is when spliced make the other spell non targetable? Bizarre, not sure it works.
Hysteria: I think this would be equally interesting without the death trigger, but each to his own. Unfortunately, you won't get the creature until the beginning of your next turn, and your opponent gets an untap trigger to play with in the meantime. I'm trying to think of shenanigans other than Bronze Bombshell with this, and coming up blank for the moment.
Otherworldly Landscape: So, it sort of functions like Evolving Wilds and Terramorphic Expanse, but in a really odd way. Don't really like it.
Isubari, Earth's Rage: Wording might be a bit off, I can see what you were trying to do though. Seems like you set up a turn six attack with a 5/5 with trample and 5 3/3s with trample. Or next turn lethal, in other words. That aspect I don't care for, though the idea behind the design of an attacking creature animating your lands is fine, and very Kamigawa (I loved Kamigawa, hope WotC returns at some point).
Intrepid Missionary: Lifegain is pretty odd in red, I think this creature would much rather be a 3/1 for WR. Very interesting, though.
Creature - Human Cleric Warrior (U)
Whenever Intrepid Missionary deals damage to a creature, each player gains that much life.
Healer's Orders: Hm. Persuade the opponent to keep a target out of combat by locking it out if it enters. Seems okay, not very useful on little creatures since they're more likely to die if blocked.
Lay Initiate: Maybe a bit under costed, but very interesting. I'm thinking have 2 down, some other creatures, and then Overrun *evil cackle*. Definitely the right color(s) for this.
Endless ReturnThis doesn't belong in mono-white, to me. Infinite loops with Cathodions and Coal Stokers, probably more, and probably a few other combos. I'd put this at 1WB and be pretty happy with it. Nice combo piece.
Gerrard's Mom
Seize: Oops, forgot about that. Definitely need to add that rider for the design files.
Oppressive Skies: Hm, Dream Tides is definitely the wording I wanted. I blame trying to study for finals at the same time.
Lucius, Young Conqueror: Underpowered, huh? Maybe I should have kept the original effect:
Lucius, Young Conqueror 3BR
Legendary Creature - Human Knight (R)
First Strike
Whenever Lucius, Young Conqueror attacks, sacrifice a permanent.
Whenever you sacrifice a permanent, you may have Lucius, Young Conqueror deal 2 damage to target creature or player.
He grew infamous for his careless sacrifices of his men and his constant victories.
5/3
On a side note @ pocketwatch how is a 8 word card (excluding reminder text) wordy?
That's exactly the problem. Billy Newplayer (and plenty of Edgar Experienced players, too) is going to have a hard time understanding what flying means on a noncreature spell, not to mention that hexproof on an instant or sorcery looks deceptively like Irresistable. I tried to put Splice on creatures in some of my for-fun design files with ETB triggers, but it felt weird to me. Still, I'll give props for pushing boundaries.
Mechanic Creator's Contest III- Winner
[Clan Flamingo]
Red Burn RRR
Sorcery
Red Burn deals 5 damage to target creature.
Trample