First, I'd like to apologize to the moderators if this is in the wrong forum. I'm not entirely sure where this thread fits in anywhere.
Second, I would like to announce the opening of this fine thread. In my time here on the forums, I've noticed a lot of threads that ended up being derailed by completely sane and intelligent non-Americans who feel that America is a terrible country for some various reason that came up during the debate/discussion/birthday wishes. It is because of this common occurrence that I have decided to open a thread completely dedicated to the bashing of The United States of America. Speaking as an American, we always care about what various unfounded and ridiculous claims you have to make about our country, regardless of the context it comes in. How else can us Americans expect to improve if our flaws are not constantly pointed out by various forum goers with far too much time on their hands and a complete grudge against a country they have never been to? That is something I want to encourage with this thread. Us Americans are nothing if not dedicated to self-improvement, and with your helpful bashing and critiques of our country, perhaps one day we can be as intelligent as the people in every other country in the world. That is my vision for this thread.
I am sick of living my life in ignorance, constantly enjoying the freedom and luxury that being an American provides. Now is the time for change. Now is the time for all people to step forward and bash my homeland with ridiculous over generalizations and hyperboles, in order to make our lives as Americans more enriched, and maybe even one day as good as yours are.
Americans eat babies. It's true. I've seen them at it.
You bet we do. Those babies are DANG tasty.
Hey, wait! You're an American too! How can Americans use forums? Arn't we all supposed to be illiterate or something? Or are we just too busy blowing up sandy countries to read? I can never remember.
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Kudos to Mr. Stuff for the adorable drummer avvy.
Kudos to Sephiroth Owa for the random banner. Tell me, ARE there similarities?
You see, part of what makes playing Magic so special is figuring out the good R&D decisions from the bad ones. If they were all good, it would take away an important element of the game: complaining about Magic on the Internet. - Mark Rosewater
Hey, wait! You're an American too! How can Americans use forums? Arn't we all supposed to be illiterate or something? Or are we just too busy blowing up sandy countries to read? I can never remember.
Quite correct. Americans can neither read nor write.
Fortunately, Americans can also defy the laws of logic, and are constantly embroiled in baffling contradictions, so it is still quite possible for us to post on forums.
Would that also have something to do in the ongoing American transfusion of blood for oil?!
When emo kids claim to bleed black, that's just their unique brand of patriotism. Everyone knows that our veins runneth over with oil. Sweet, sweet oil.
I do not hate americans, or america...in general. Many of my best friends are American, and many of my favorite ideas and people.
The world owes alot to the great old US of A. Honestly.
I just like Canada (and in general, Canadians) much more.
There are idiots everywhere, and idiots have bad ideas...the problem is when an idiot is American they tend to have a greater chance of being a bigger idiot and being accepted for it for some reason. Just seems that way sometimes anyways. I have trouble seeing Canada voting for Bush a second time (The first time is always a possibility)
I talk to both Americans and Canadians on the phone all day. I talk to some amazing people, some truly brilliant people. But I can honestly say a greater percentage of truly ridiculously stupidly ignorant people seem to live south of the border.
I look forward to the good that comes from the USA. When it is good, it is amazing. I think Americans just need a better role model than the one we have. Most of what I dislike about the place has come about under Bush's rein honestly.
Eating babies is not a bad thing...there is a food, job and housing shortage you know. And we can sell the left overs for stem cell research. Its a cash crop I say!!!!
I do not hate americans, or america...in general. Many of my best friends are American, and many of my favorite ideas and people.
The world owes alot to the great old US of A. Honestly.
I just like Canada (and in general, Canadians) much more.
There are idiots everywhere, and idiots have bad ideas...the problem is when an idiot is American they tend to have a greater chance of being a bigger idiot and being accepted for it for some reason. Just seems that way sometimes anyways. I have trouble seeing Canada voting for Bush a second time (The first time is always a possibility)
I talk to both Americans and Canadians on the phone all day. I talk to some amazing people, some truly brilliant people. But I can honestly say a greater percentage of truly ridiculously stupidly ignorant people seem to live south of the border.
I look forward to the good that comes from the USA. When it is good, it is amazing. I think Americans just need a better role model than the one we have. Most of what I dislike about the place has come about under Bush's rein honestly.
Eating babies is not a bad thing...there is a food, job and housing shortage you know. And we can sell the left overs for stem cell research. Its a cash crop I say!!!!
We especially like to eat Canadian babies, since they are weaned on maple syrup and caribou fat.
We especially like to eat Canadian babies, since they are weaned on maple syrup and caribou fat.
I move that the thread title be changed to "Official Baby-Eating Thread". We can discuss personal preferences, swap recipes, and give advice on preparation.
We need to start a petition. Unlike every real American, I don't spend nearly enough time gorging myself at the golden deep-fried teat of McDonalds. This would all change with the addition of babies to the menu.
I can't wait. I really have been craving the tears of Iraqi widows, and I think that would go really well with a plump Canadian baby.
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Quote from Cochese »
Do threads in this forum ever not get hijacked by the magical invisible hand of the market guys?
in all seriousness, in about 20 years when china really takes off ill become and expat and live their. that country is on hte upswing while ours is stagnating (and yes im chinese)
Baby eating. Kind of reminds me of what the best part about abortion is... BOOM HEADSHOT
I like my babies stir-fried, really. In fact, they are delicacies in Montana, where I grew up. He have them, of course, right after the Testicle Festival (which exists, no kidding). It's sort of a balance.
Too bad the screwin' social democrat fanatics up here in Canukistan don't fry up babies for me to eat in the cafeteria.
Also, T2, that comment about emo kids totally owned. You get three goat chunks for that!
Anyway, nobody has to bash America, because we do it for ourselves when we go to the ballot box.
Help has come in the form of a bit of basic algebra. I feel that it'll shed some light on your problem here.
Basically:
S + T = W
...S in this case stands for 'spam' and the T stands for 'light trolling'. And the W? That stands for 'Warning'. I love math. -- {mikeyG}
Hey... does that mean that the British eat babies, too? or did all of the Swifitians (I think thats how you adjective-ize his name) cross the Atlantic to the USA? though swift did say he got the idea from an American
Wait... did I just understand a refrence to 18th century literature??!!!?? I thought that was impossible, thanks to the piss-poor school system of my country and the complete disregard I have for the culture of any country besides my own.
Must... Resist... Temptation to... Celebrate this minor acomplishment... By making a fool of myself... and my country.... AHHHH I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!
HEY MAW!! FETCH ME MY BEER AND MY BANJO -- WE'RE GOIN GATOR RASSLIN!!
On another note, I find babies go well with some cilantro and a little lime juice.
I just want to say that I, as an american citizen, am disgusted at the things you are saying. I can safely say I have never eaten a baby, nor am I excited that you started this thread without getting all of the facts.
FACT:
28.2% of Americans DO NOT eat babies.
FACT:
The public school system is not nearly as terrible as people think it is. (It's actually much, much worse)
FACT:
35% of the time, we're right all the time.
FACT:
50% of America isn't stupid, it's just apathetic.
FACT:
Chuck Norris is an American. Beat that.
FACT:
America invented the internet, thus dooming mankind.
So please, get your facts right before spreading such slanderous filth.
Disclaimer: The views Faxanadu of do not in any way reflect those of the typical american citizen or anyone similar in nature. If you have any complaints, please, don't waste my time and just get rid of them.
I just want to say that I, as an american citizen, am disgusted at the things you are saying. I can safely say I have never eaten a baby, nor am I excited that you started this thread without getting all of the facts.
FACT:
28.2% of Americans DO NOT eat babies.
FACT:
The public school system is not nearly as terrible as people think it is. (It's actually much, much worse)
FACT:
35% of the time, we're right all the time.
FACT:
50% of America isn't stupid, it's just apathetic.
FACT:
Chuck Norris is an American. Beat that.
FACT:
America invented the internet, thus dooming mankind.
So please, get your facts right before spreading such slanderous filth.
Disclaimer: The views Faxanadu of do not in any way reflect those of the typical american citizen or anyone similar in nature. If you have any complaints, please, don't waste my time and just get rid of them.
Yep you're right. Well, luckily, I've got a choice, you can smoke a joint without risking jail punishment, or you don't smoke that joint. Either way, Chuck Norris doesn't beat that.
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hey i have managed to evolve my axolotls by feeding them thyroid glands the thyroxine contained in these gland is enough to change these water dwelling creatures into land based creatures
Posted by: Tay Collins | January 20, 2010 6:45 AM
Tay, that's not evolution. It's metamorphosis. Evolution means descent with heritable modification – individuals cannot evolve, unless they're Pokemon.
Posted by: David Marjanović | January 20, 2010 8:55 AM
But doees over 71% of your country enjoy the succulent delicious flavor of babies? I didn't think so.
BTW, I like a nice mexican baby, covered with ranchero sauce myself. Sometimes I put it in a tortilla with cheese so that I'm eating a burrito.
I just want to say that I, as an american citizen, am disgusted at the things you are saying. I can safely say I have never eaten a baby, nor am I excited that you started this thread without getting all of the facts.
FACT:
28.2% of Americans DO NOT eat babies.
FACT:
The public school system is not nearly as terrible as people think it is. (It's actually much, much worse)
FACT:
35% of the time, we're right all the time.
FACT:
50% of America isn't stupid, it's just apathetic.
FACT:
Chuck Norris is an American. Beat that.
FACT:
America invented the internet, thus dooming mankind.
So please, get your facts right before spreading such slanderous filth.
Disclaimer: The views Faxanadu of do not in any way reflect those of the typical american citizen or anyone similar in nature. If you have any complaints, please, don't waste my time and just get rid of them.
Chuck Norris is not American, he just chooses to live there because there are more people he feels obliged to kick in the throat...and that makes him happy.
And having Chuck live in the USA is just a good reason to live anywhere else.
Nonsense, you just have to know how to appease him. I give him my share of the babies at the annual Baby Cook-off.
Did you go to last year's event? They actually filmed an episode of Iron Baby Chef: America while the festival was going on. I still think the Asian version of the show was better.
Especially when cat/seagull is the secret ingredient.
Fact: Canadia (aka USA jr.) is responsible for producing more singers named Celine Dion than any other country in the world.
Fact: The US responded to this insult by producing 'musicians' such as N'Sync in retaliation. The world hasn't been the same since.
N'Sync and Celine Dion are actually mecha from Japan. When N'Sync combines, they become Celine Dion in fact. When she started singing, they didn't want to promote a boy band so they promotted her Gestalt form first.
They were too horrible to produce Jpop, and the aniti-Godzilla weapons frightened them so they came here where Americans have no taste in music anyways.
Second, I would like to announce the opening of this fine thread. In my time here on the forums, I've noticed a lot of threads that ended up being derailed by completely sane and intelligent non-Americans who feel that America is a terrible country for some various reason that came up during the debate/discussion/birthday wishes. It is because of this common occurrence that I have decided to open a thread completely dedicated to the bashing of The United States of America. Speaking as an American, we always care about what various unfounded and ridiculous claims you have to make about our country, regardless of the context it comes in. How else can us Americans expect to improve if our flaws are not constantly pointed out by various forum goers with far too much time on their hands and a complete grudge against a country they have never been to? That is something I want to encourage with this thread. Us Americans are nothing if not dedicated to self-improvement, and with your helpful bashing and critiques of our country, perhaps one day we can be as intelligent as the people in every other country in the world. That is my vision for this thread.
I am sick of living my life in ignorance, constantly enjoying the freedom and luxury that being an American provides. Now is the time for change. Now is the time for all people to step forward and bash my homeland with ridiculous over generalizations and hyperboles, in order to make our lives as Americans more enriched, and maybe even one day as good as yours are.
Thank you for your cooperation, and fire away!
Thanks to the [Æther] shop for the sig!
You bet we do. Those babies are DANG tasty.
Hey, wait! You're an American too! How can Americans use forums? Arn't we all supposed to be illiterate or something? Or are we just too busy blowing up sandy countries to read? I can never remember.
Quite correct. Americans can neither read nor write.
Fortunately, Americans can also defy the laws of logic, and are constantly embroiled in baffling contradictions, so it is still quite possible for us to post on forums.
When emo kids claim to bleed black, that's just their unique brand of patriotism. Everyone knows that our veins runneth over with oil. Sweet, sweet oil.
The world owes alot to the great old US of A. Honestly.
I just like Canada (and in general, Canadians) much more.
There are idiots everywhere, and idiots have bad ideas...the problem is when an idiot is American they tend to have a greater chance of being a bigger idiot and being accepted for it for some reason. Just seems that way sometimes anyways. I have trouble seeing Canada voting for Bush a second time (The first time is always a possibility)
I talk to both Americans and Canadians on the phone all day. I talk to some amazing people, some truly brilliant people. But I can honestly say a greater percentage of truly ridiculously stupidly ignorant people seem to live south of the border.
I look forward to the good that comes from the USA. When it is good, it is amazing. I think Americans just need a better role model than the one we have. Most of what I dislike about the place has come about under Bush's rein honestly.
Eating babies is not a bad thing...there is a food, job and housing shortage you know. And we can sell the left overs for stem cell research. Its a cash crop I say!!!!
We especially like to eat Canadian babies, since they are weaned on maple syrup and caribou fat.
I move that the thread title be changed to "Official Baby-Eating Thread". We can discuss personal preferences, swap recipes, and give advice on preparation.
I can't wait. I really have been craving the tears of Iraqi widows, and I think that would go really well with a plump Canadian baby.
in all seriousness, in about 20 years when china really takes off ill become and expat and live their. that country is on hte upswing while ours is stagnating (and yes im chinese)
Why I do believe that is "A Modest Proposal."
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showpost.php?p=4557651&postcount=1
TheWarden's Creative Commons Music Pick Project (Retired):
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showthread.php?t=336498
Prove me wrong you puritanical, gun-toting, fascist fear-mongers. Prove me wrong.
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Katingal: Plane of Chains
I like my babies stir-fried, really. In fact, they are delicacies in Montana, where I grew up. He have them, of course, right after the Testicle Festival (which exists, no kidding). It's sort of a balance.
Too bad the screwin' social democrat fanatics up here in Canukistan don't fry up babies for me to eat in the cafeteria.
Also, T2, that comment about emo kids totally owned. You get three goat chunks for that!
Anyway, nobody has to bash America, because we do it for ourselves when we go to the ballot box.
Help has come in the form of a bit of basic algebra. I feel that it'll shed some light on your problem here.
Basically:
S + T = W
...S in this case stands for 'spam' and the T stands for 'light trolling'. And the W? That stands for 'Warning'. I love math. -- {mikeyG}
Hey... does that mean that the British eat babies, too? or did all of the Swifitians (I think thats how you adjective-ize his name) cross the Atlantic to the USA? though swift did say he got the idea from an American
Wait... did I just understand a refrence to 18th century literature??!!!?? I thought that was impossible, thanks to the piss-poor school system of my country and the complete disregard I have for the culture of any country besides my own.
Must... Resist... Temptation to... Celebrate this minor acomplishment... By making a fool of myself... and my country.... AHHHH I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!
HEY MAW!! FETCH ME MY BEER AND MY BANJO -- WE'RE GOIN GATOR RASSLIN!!
On another note, I find babies go well with some cilantro and a little lime juice.
Particularly as a Canadian. With a new baby.
On the upside: Canada has more guns per capita, and far more ice skates.
On the downside: The US has a millitary, and isn't hesitant to use it!
US is the definite favourite in the match.
Azerbaijan is strong in the Google-Fu. He is my hero!
FACT:
28.2% of Americans DO NOT eat babies.
FACT:
The public school system is not nearly as terrible as people think it is. (It's actually much, much worse)
FACT:
35% of the time, we're right all the time.
FACT:
50% of America isn't stupid, it's just apathetic.
FACT:
Chuck Norris is an American. Beat that.
FACT:
America invented the internet, thus dooming mankind.
So please, get your facts right before spreading such slanderous filth.
Disclaimer: The views Faxanadu of do not in any way reflect those of the typical american citizen or anyone similar in nature. If you have any complaints, please, don't waste my time and just get rid of them.
Thanks to the boys at Epic Graphics for the Sig.
My words to live by:
Never kick a walrus in the face, for the tusks are pointy and will make you bleed.
PANTS ARE FOR THE WEAK!
http://www.yamisoft.com/flashback/faxanadu.html
Yep you're right. Well, luckily, I've got a choice, you can smoke a joint without risking jail punishment, or you don't smoke that joint. Either way, Chuck Norris doesn't beat that.
Posted by: Tay Collins | January 20, 2010 6:45 AM
Tay, that's not evolution. It's metamorphosis. Evolution means descent with heritable modification – individuals cannot evolve, unless they're Pokemon.
Posted by: David Marjanović | January 20, 2010 8:55 AM
BTW, I like a nice mexican baby, covered with ranchero sauce myself. Sometimes I put it in a tortilla with cheese so that I'm eating a burrito.
Made by Topher at Aether.
Come Praise Jesus!
Official Godfather of Team Faerie Mafia.
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FM Thresh
Vial Horror
Chuck Norris is not American, he just chooses to live there because there are more people he feels obliged to kick in the throat...and that makes him happy.
And having Chuck live in the USA is just a good reason to live anywhere else.
Thanks to the boys at Epic Graphics for the Sig.
My words to live by:
Never kick a walrus in the face, for the tusks are pointy and will make you bleed.
PANTS ARE FOR THE WEAK!
http://www.yamisoft.com/flashback/faxanadu.html
Did you go to last year's event? They actually filmed an episode of Iron Baby Chef: America while the festival was going on. I still think the Asian version of the show was better.
Especially when cat/seagull is the secret ingredient.
Fact: Canadia (aka USA jr.) is responsible for producing more singers named Celine Dion than any other country in the world.
Fact: The US responded to this insult by producing 'musicians' such as N'Sync in retaliation. The world hasn't been the same since.
They were too horrible to produce Jpop, and the aniti-Godzilla weapons frightened them so they came here where Americans have no taste in music anyways.